The Chat Shop

Biography of Abraham Lincoln

2010-02-15T02:00:00.000-08:00

Today is Presidents Day! And this is a photograph of Abraham Lincoln, my favorite U.S. President. Everything I know about this great historical figure, I learned on the internet and distilled for you in a 6 minute audio recording! Thank you to wikipedia and to all of American History for making this podcast possible. --Leonard Steinberg, 5th grader at Franklin Middle School, Summit, NJ

Click on the link below to listen:

http://www.garageband.com/go/55T5X82NEE

In honor of all the presidents, I am posting some of my favorite presidential quotes, culled from the historical quotation database at: http://www.whitehouse.gov.com/prezquotes

“A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.”
--Rutherford B. Hayes

“The only limits on what you can accomplish are the limits YOU place on your own imagination.”
-James K. Polk

“To the world you are one person, but to one person you could mean the world.”
--Ulysses S. Grant

“Man is as vast as he acts.”
--Howard Taft

“Say it straight, simple and with a smile.”
--Richard M. Nixon

“The body is a temple: take care of it.”
--John F. Kennedy

“Reach for the moon...if you miss at least you'll be among the stars.”
--Millard Fillmore

“People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.”
--Andrew Jackson

“Your destiny is to merge with infinity.”
--George H. W. Bush

“Every smile is a direct achievement.”
--William Jefferson Clinton

“Love what is ahead by loving what has come before.”
--Herbert Hoover

“If I keep a green bough in my heart, the singing bird will come.”
--William Henry Harrison

“I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.”
--Franklin Delano Roosevelt

“Love is a tickle around the heart that you can't scratch.”
--Theodore Roosevelt

“My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding and the baby at every christening.”
--John Quincy Adams

“If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.”
--Ronald Regan

“Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men - the other 999 follow women.”
--Barack Obama

“Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell.”
--Grover Cleaveland

“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.”
--Thomas Jefferson

“The shortest distance between two points is under construction.”
--Dwight D. Eisenhower

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”
--Martin Van Buren

“If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.”
--Lyndon B. Johnson

“Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.”
--James Buchanan

“I think that when you invite people to your home, you invite them to yourself.”
--Gerald Ford

“Every time we love, every time we give, it's Christmas.”
--Martin Van Buren

Astronaut Ice Cream

2009-09-20T09:07:00.001-07:00

The Mayor of Jupiter is asked about his diet in space. Click on the link below to hear his curt response:

http://www.garageband.com/go/THD1DM4VQ1

Transmission from The Mayor of Jupiter

2009-09-19T13:20:00.001-07:00

Born an American citizen on planet Earth, Rupert Spurlock entered the vacuum of outer space in December 1974 when he was ejected from a NASA spacecraft (Pioneer 11) during a flyby mission to the planet Jupiter. He was elected Mayor soon afterward. It is believed that the Mayor is still in orbit, serving his sixth consecutive term.

Transmissions from the Mayor of Jupiter are exceedingly rare, and the authenticity of this broadcast has been hotly contested since the time it surfaced around the turn of the century.

To hear this "Transmission From the Mayor of Jupiter" for yourself,

click here: http://www.garageband.com/go/JL046H01T3

Jupiter: the Massive, Gassy Giant.

Meet Me at the Taj Mahal

2009-09-18T18:51:00.000-07:00

I've been having these recurring dreams... Does that ever happen to you? If you'd like to hear about the one where I find myself sitting outside the Taj Mahal (which may be the most romantic palace ever constructed)...

click here: http://www.garageband.com/go/OQLNV5YT9O

Hope you like it!
~Myrtle

The Taxonomy of Animals

2009-09-17T06:29:00.001-07:00

Pictured above: a short-haired Boston Terrier, a black widow spider, a goldfish, and a Swedish human being from the 18th century: Carl Linnaeus.

To listen to my podcast, The Taxonomy of Animals, follow this link: http://www.garageband.com/go/6TPMU5RSJ9

Hello, this is Leonard. I hope you found my Taxonomy podcast informative (and perhaps even enlightening!). Since making this recording, I realized there is at least one set of animals that can't be grouped under just one category. This animal is... the human being! For this species, we have to classify them on a case by case basis:

Bullies? A bully would be an evil animal. Babies? A baby would be a cute animal. My social studies teacher, Mr. Berhalter, would be a boring animal-- while Swedish botanist and Father of Taxonomy, Carl Linnaeus would be a cute animal (judging from the picture).

Dogs are the only other species I can think of that defy being lumped under one category of animals. Consider the diversity of canine temperament featured in this short list: Rottweiler? Pitbull? These will be evil animals. Beagle? Chihuahua? Golden Retriever? These will be cute animals. As for boring dogs... the only truly boring dog is the dog who looks like a mop (and probably just sleeps all day in a bucket).

Right: a mop dog going for a walk.

Left: a mop dog just laying there.

If you look at the entire Animal Kingdom, you will see I have only classified a minute percentage of the total number of animal species! So, if you need help figuring out where your favorite (or least favorite) animal would fit into my system, you can leave me a message below and I will give you my opinion of where your animal belongs.

I'm a Beach Ball

2009-09-16T16:30:00.000-07:00

Myrtle Willoughby is a Los Angeles-based performance artist whose work has been featured in Outside In and The L.A. Times. According to one review: "her work weaves flights of fancy and magical realism into the fabric of everyday life-- often creating pieces that are both other-worldly and utterly indistinguishable from her daily routine." Recent performances include: "Standing in Line," a 12-minute meditation on price-checks (staged at Ralph's Supermarket on Cloverfield Blvd) and "If The Shoe Fits," a movement piece highlighting the subtle physicality of a quiet moment in which a woman sits in a chair and slips on a pair of shoes (undisclosed location in Venice Beach). Myrtle's audio recordings-- inspired by the dream diary she has kept since she was a teenager-- will be part of a larger multimedia installation at the Santa Monica Museum of Art in California, tentatively titled, "Goodnight Sweet Prince."

Listen to Myrtle's "I'm a Beach Ball" here: http://www.garageband.com/go/Q0653DSOS8

(you will be redirected to garageband-- click on the little green arrow center-screen to listen.)

The History of Laundry

2009-09-15T20:53:00.000-07:00

Leonard Steinberg is an amateur historian. He has been hailed as "an astute observer of the natural world" and "one of the great scholars of his fifth grade class." Leonard has done extensive research on a wide variety of topics and has been recording informative podcasts since the age of 10. His letters to the editor have been published in the Suburban News, the Summit Observer, and online at nj.com under "comments." Leonard has been the recipient of numerous awards, including 1st place in a recent spelling bee and 2nd place in a T-shirt design contest sponsored by the Drug Abuse Resistance Education initiative. He currently attends Franklin Middle School in Summit, NJ.

Listen to Leonard's "History of Laundry" here:

http://www.garageband.com/go/UMQ2LT3W5D

(you will be redirected to garageband-- click on the little green arrow center-screen to listen.)

The Premise

2009-09-15T20:46:00.000-07:00

This is an audio blog featuring the voices of characters I made up.

Hope you have fun getting to know them!