Astronaut Ice Cream

The Mayor of Jupiter is asked about his diet in space. Click on the link below to hear his curt response:

http://www.garageband.com/go/THD1DM4VQ1

Transmission from The Mayor of Jupiter

Born an American citizen on planet Earth, Rupert Spurlock entered the vacuum of outer space in December 1974 when he was ejected from a NASA spacecraft (Pioneer 11) during a flyby mission to the planet Jupiter. He was elected Mayor soon afterward. It is believed that the Mayor is still in orbit, serving his sixth consecutive term.

Transmissions from the Mayor of Jupiter are exceedingly rare, and the authenticity of this broadcast has been hotly contested since the time it surfaced around the turn of the century.

To hear this "Transmission From the Mayor of Jupiter" for yourself,

click here: http://www.garageband.com/go/JL046H01T3

Jupiter: the Massive, Gassy Giant.

Meet Me at the Taj Mahal

I've been having these recurring dreams... Does that ever happen to you? If you'd like to hear about the one where I find myself sitting outside the Taj Mahal (which may be the most romantic palace ever constructed)...

click here: http://www.garageband.com/go/OQLNV5YT9O

Hope you like it!
~Myrtle

The Taxonomy of Animals

Pictured above: a short-haired Boston Terrier, a black widow spider, a goldfish, and a Swedish human being from the 18th century: Carl Linnaeus.

To listen to my podcast, The Taxonomy of Animals, follow this link: http://www.garageband.com/go/6TPMU5RSJ9

Hello, this is Leonard. I hope you found my Taxonomy podcast informative (and perhaps even enlightening!). Since making this recording, I realized there is at least one set of animals that can't be grouped under just one category. This animal is... the human being! For this species, we have to classify them on a case by case basis:

Bullies? A bully would be an evil animal. Babies? A baby would be a cute animal. My social studies teacher, Mr. Berhalter, would be a boring animal-- while Swedish botanist and Father of Taxonomy, Carl Linnaeus would be a cute animal (judging from the picture).

Dogs are the only other species I can think of that defy being lumped under one category of animals. Consider the diversity of canine temperament featured in this short list: Rottweiler? Pitbull? These will be evil animals. Beagle? Chihuahua? Golden Retriever? These will be cute animals. As for boring dogs... the only truly boring dog is the dog who looks like a mop (and probably just sleeps all day in a bucket).

Right: a mop dog going for a walk.







Left: a mop dog just laying there.


If you look at the entire Animal Kingdom, you will see I have only classified a minute percentage of the total number of animal species! So, if you need help figuring out where your favorite (or least favorite) animal would fit into my system, you can leave me a message below and I will give you my opinion of where your animal belongs.

I'm a Beach Ball

Myrtle Willoughby is a Los Angeles-based performance artist whose work has been featured in Outside In and The L.A. Times. According to one review: "her work weaves flights of fancy and magical realism into the fabric of everyday life-- often creating pieces that are both other-worldly and utterly indistinguishable from her daily routine." Recent performances include: "Standing in Line," a 12-minute meditation on price-checks (staged at Ralph's Supermarket on Cloverfield Blvd) and "If The Shoe Fits," a movement piece highlighting the subtle physicality of a quiet moment in which a woman sits in a chair and slips on a pair of shoes (undisclosed location in Venice Beach). Myrtle's audio recordings-- inspired by the dream diary she has kept since she was a teenager-- will be part of a larger multimedia installation at the Santa Monica Museum of Art in California, tentatively titled, "Goodnight Sweet Prince."

Listen to Myrtle's "I'm a Beach Ball" here: http://www.garageband.com/go/Q0653DSOS8

(you will be redirected to garageband-- click on the little green arrow center-screen to listen.)

The History of Laundry

Leonard Steinberg is an amateur historian. He has been hailed as "an astute observer of the natural world" and "one of the great scholars of his fifth grade class." Leonard has done extensive research on a wide variety of topics and has been recording informative podcasts since the age of 10. His letters to the editor have been published in the Suburban News, the Summit Observer, and online at nj.com under "comments." Leonard has been the recipient of numerous awards, including 1st place in a recent spelling bee and 2nd place in a T-shirt design contest sponsored by the Drug Abuse Resistance Education initiative. He currently attends Franklin Middle School in Summit, NJ.

Listen to Leonard's "History of Laundry" here:

http://www.garageband.com/go/UMQ2LT3W5D

(you will be redirected to garageband-- click on the little green arrow center-screen to listen.)

The Premise

This is an audio blog featuring the voices of characters I made up.

Hope you have fun getting to know them!